that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just found puke in my bra..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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