dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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