Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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