is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
