We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
