my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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