Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
