In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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