yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
