all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
