You work out of a Hotel?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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