Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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