What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
