No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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