Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
