i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
