I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
