i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
