why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
