Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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