I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
