i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
