I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
