Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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