Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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