I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
