well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
