At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
