I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she told me i tasted like america
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
