it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
