I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
