I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
