Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
