I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
