what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
