he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
vagina is talking i cant
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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