Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
