You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
