So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
