so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
