Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
