he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
