i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
