we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
