you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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