We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
