Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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