My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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