If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
