he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
