see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
