you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
