You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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